Writing your own elopement vows may seem like a daunting task, but I promise that it doesn’t have to be.
Whether you’ve already sat down and tried writing your vows a dozen times, or if you’re like me and have to research everything first, I’m going to give you some tips to make writing your elopement vows simple and, dare I say, fun!
As someone who likes a plan of action before diving into anything, this process worked really well for me as I wrote my own vows.
- Step 1: Get into the right mindset
- Step 2: Think about your relationship
- Step 3: Think about what you want to convey to your partner
- Step 4: Bring it all together
At the end of the day, your elopement vows are all about you + your relationship. There’s not a wrong way of doing it.
Keeping that in mind can be really helpful when starting to write.
Grab your notebook + pen and let’s get started!
Step 1: Get into the right mindset
Try not to overthink it: your partner will love your vows no matter what!
- Keep it real: don’t feel like you need to make your vows all prim-and-proper if that’s not you. After all, eloping is all about you!
- Don’t censor yourself: Vows are a promise you’re making to your partner and your future together; you should feel free to express that in a way that feels authentic to you. If you’re eloping with just the two of you, that makes it pretty easy. If there are guests or witnesses that you don’t want to read your personal vows in front of, I recommend reading them after your first look!
Step 2: Think about your relationship
This seems like an obvious place to start, but a lot of people overlook it. Take a step back and think about your relationship, your partner, and your journey together so far.
- Write down 5 (or more) words that describe:
- What you love about your partner;
- How your partner makes you feel;
- What you love most about being with him/her.
- Make it fun + authentic: bring in your own stories, quirks
- When did you know he/she was the one?
- What inside jokes do you two have? What about nicknames?
- What quirks does your partner have?
- What does he/she do that annoys you, but you still love him/her anyways? (like snoring, leaving the lights on, etc)
Step 3: Think about what you want to convey to your partner
- As you stand there in front of your partner reading your vows, how do you want him/her to feel?
- Some questions to get your brain movin’
- What do you want him/her to know about your feelings for them?
- What makes you proud to be his/her partner?
- What’s something your partner does that makes you smile?
- What lifelong promised do you want to make to your partner?
Step 4: Take a trip down memory lane
Think about the fun memories, adventures and challenges you two have shared.
- As you reminisce, think about how some those memories can tie into you answers to the questions above (ie: if you promise to always make them laugh, maybe you want to mention that one time you made a fool of yourself singing their favorite song at karaoke)
- Tips to get your brain movin’:
- Scroll through your Instagram,
- Look at your friendship on Facebook (I highly recommend this…you may find some gems, especially if you’ve been together for a long time)
- Go through pics on your phone, printed photos hanging at home, etc.
- If you’re old skool, go through your scrapbooks, notes/letters you exchanged
Step 5: Bring it all together to create your elopement vows!
After answering those questions above, you have a really great start to writing your elopement vows. Now, you just have to bring it all together! I highly recommend handwriting your vows instead of typing them, it just feels more personal if ya ask me. Bonus: a cute vow booklet like this or this can turn your vows into a keepsake.
If you’re someone (like me) who needs more clear structure, I recommend something along the lines of: Why I love you –> you make me feel –> I promise/our future .
Remember, there’s not a right or wrong way to write your elopement vows.
I hope these prompts and tips help you with writing your own elopement vows! As long as you stay true to yourself, your partner will love them no matter what!
I offer hands-on assistance throughout the entire elopement planning process, and I’m here to help in any way I can (even helping you craft the perfect vows)! If you’re looking for an all-in-one elopement photographer and guide…